#036 Alisha Myers [Class of 2012]

 I am going to be honest I was 100% against this blog at first. I loved the idea, but I thought it would have been better to send these letters directly to the staff. There was one thing that changed my mind: Charlie Dowers encouraging the staff, parents and students to resist from reading them. As an attorney, I am a big fan of free speech, and this makes me believe that even if the letters were to be sent, he wouldn’t give them to the staff. Mr. Dowers banning this blog is akin to the instance in the Harry Potter saga where Dolores Umbridge forbids practicing magic. These restrictions usually don’t work and even cause uprisings. That’s all I will say about that.

 
Some Positives: 
Before I begin, I want to say that there were several teachers whom I loved at the Oaks, and still love dearly.  Most were elementary school teachers and all were woman. Mrs. Holland taught me how to read, and has been a constant support ever since. I love her dearly. Mrs. Korver is still a good friend. Although she never taught me, she has always been a light in my life. Mrs. Kennedy (now Hartman) did a good job handling my drama in 4th grade and she is still a great teacher and amazing mom. Finally, Ms. Garlfield (now Wilson) taught me how to own who I was, with flair and respect. She brought fun back to the classroom and the year where she was my teacher was honestly one of the best in high school. I lived for that History class. Also Mrs. Gibson is the best person on staff because she worked with me one on one after I left the Oaks and helped me get into Law School. I am forever grateful for her. 
I worked my butt off in high school to make a decent G.P.A. and to remain on the volleyball team (that was my parents’ deal with me). I will say that the Oaks taught me that if you can work hard enough, you can achieve goals. Was that goal for me a 4.0? Absolutely not. The goal was a passing grade, and I did pass. I also really appreciated how the Oaks prepped you for college apps. If they did more preparatory work for college, I think that would be amazing because the way they help students into college is excellent. Finally, the Oaks instilled a love in reading in me. Mr. Palpant made me love reading, and although he may have had some issues as a teacher, he suffered from physical ailments that I am sure affected him that during this time.  These people are human, and I have to believe that this may have played a part in some of what others are saying. 
I also learned at the Oaks that boys are not worth the drama.  Seriously boys are never worth the drama and the good ones usually never come with drama. That’s actually why I left the Oaks because girls were being weird about how much I talked or spent time with certain male classmates. That may be more a high school thing in general than an Oaks specific thing but either way I learned a lesson from it. 
 I also learned that being a great parent means advocating for your kids. MY PARENTS WERE SO GOOD ABOUT THIS. ESPECIALLY MY BOSS OF A MOM.  The Oaks also taught me that you can teach about God in a school but unless your home life is Jesus-focused then your kids will not grow. My sister and I are still Christians and much of that is due to my parents, not the Oaks. 

Some Negatives:
Middle School- High school was honestly hard for me academically and emotionally. I remember not fitting in, drama with my female classmates regarding boys, and honestly some weird teaching experiences. I won’t name names, but I remember one teacher in 7th grade saying that the women should get married and have kids and that is what it means to be pure as a woman.  I told my mom that day that I thought this was messed up. I remember that teacher’s son making fun of me for wanting to be a lawyer. Despite the fact that my best grade at the Oaks was logic I was consistently told my place was in the house. Yikes… not even the Bible says that. 
I was a trouble kid in the Oaks eyes… I spoke out of turn, spoke loudly, and spoke my opinion. I was not liked by many male teachers for those qualities. I also was in tutoring for basically every subject, tutoring which still never really helped my grades. Never once was I tested for any learning disabilities or was it suggested that I had any, and now I know that I have ADHD. To be fair, an ADHD diagnosis in women is often missed but trained educators should know those signs. I wish that someone would have advocated to my parents for that. How can a kid struggle in so many subjects but the possibility of a learning disability is never discussed? 
There is so much more I could say including bullying and teasing by other kids, but it’s not worth rehashing.  I think those conversations I’ll save for therapy. (If you haven’t tried therapy I highly recommend it).  Finally, the one thing that put a bad taste in my mouth was how there were instances of students marrying teachers (not sure how anyone hasn’t touched that). I’m sure they are happy families now but at the time and even today that seemed WEIRD AF to me. I’m really hoping that is no longer happening. (I’m sure there are backstories on how they knew each other beforehand but if that’s the case, then they should have stepped down from teaching until the student graduated). 

Takeaway: 
Last thing I will say is this: I forgive those who hurt me or said things to me that were hurtful. And if I ever hurt anyone, I am truly sorry.  I really have no ill will toward the Oaks either.  I will end with this, Jesus loves people by serving them, bestowing grace, coming along side people’s mess, and loving those He disagrees with. I think if the Oaks displayed more of the love of Christ than legalism then it would be a much different school. My dad always says a school, a church, and the world is all perfect without people in it.  Its starts with the people. So Oaks kids and faculty (who are breaking the rules and reading this) what kind of person do you want to be, and how can you display Jesus’s LOVE? Answering that question can evoke change. 
P.S. For those who want to know I am a practicing attorney now, about to be married to the best guy, and I still love Jesus with my whole heart. Always happy to talk to anyone and catch up! Reach out to me on Facebook or through Natasha. With my line of work I don’t like publishing my private contact info. 
-Alisha Myers.