#019 - Jill Wright & Joel [Parent Letter to the Board of Directors]

 Letter to parents of current and past Oaks students,   

             We countlessly met with teachers and administration and finally a letter to the board, regarding specific examples of the culture of the Logic and Rhetoric school. To the best of our abilities we have followed Matthew 18.  We were not given an exit interview, but truth be told we had been clear on our concerns. Along the way we were met with familiar nods, understanding, platitudes, and sometimes feigned surprise. But they were persuasive. We were reassured by multiple people that The Oaks was (and is) the best education. Unfortunately alumni are sharing experiences that are familiar to us. Still we thought we were the only casualties. Concerns were met with deaf ears. Wounds are deep, even deeper for some. This is a cry for healing and restoration.

            Our sons endured much of their years at The Oaks, to honor us. We continually gave The Oaks the benefit of the doubt to because we trusted that they were well intentioned Christian men and women. We chose the school because we took seriously the mandate that parents are to educate their children. We were there for character and integrity but also advocated for their education and wellbeing. We defended and put-up with what was happening while informing administration of the impact their approach had on our children and their classmates. Understand that The Oaks is invested and intentional in their approach. In grammar school the classical approach uses teaching methodologies known by other terms by educators. They are effective, data driven methods. However, it was our experience that The Oaks misrepresented practices in Logic and Rhetoric stages, at least in how it implemented the methods, which resulted in unnecessary suffering.  

            To the Oaks alumni and current students, we hope this gives you a better understanding of your social, emotional and spiritual development because of this environment. It is our prayer that the Lord uses this blog to bring forgiveness. We know how much time this can consume so please let this strengthen your soul and not sow bitterness. Give yourself time. It took two years to draft a letter that was thoughtful, reflective and without bitterness.

            Below is a variation of the email sent to Travis Harken, Merrill Miller, Shawn Van Horn, Rodney Kleyn, Joe Cvancara, Charlie Dowers, Ken Trotter, Corey McEachran and Bruce Willliams (March 2020).   

Letter to the Board 

            Our desire was that our two sons would be perceptive and attractive Christians equipped to be a transforming influence in the world. We believed The Oaks would mentor a love for the Lord, love of learning, and develop character and integrity. The Oaks mission states, “We aim to graduate young men and women who think clearly and listen carefully with discernment and understanding….who do so with eagerness in joyful submission to God…to be socially graceful and spiritually gracious.” Students standing to speak and rising in unison to welcome you into the class will make you proud.  The remarkable proficiency of students to memorize and the list of literature will make you question how you ever made it in life. First graders learn to read aloud from the bible (by sixth grade they will have read the entire bible). Cantabile will astound and inspire you. This is the environment we faithfully entrusted our sons to  from 2006-2018. I believed my background (Bachelor of Arts from Westmont College in Elementary Education K-8,   Master degree from Gonzaga K-12  in Special Education with an emphasis in Behavior Analysis, adjunct professor at Whitworth University 2000-2008) complimented the classical Christian mission and learning environment that The Oaks offered. While I come from respected colleges, my opinion needed the backing of Joel. I had my gender and background in public (hear “government”) school working against me, but nonetheless we became well informed on the Trivium and goals of a classical education based on “The Lost Tools of Learning” and “7 Laws of Learning.”

            We valued that students learned to express themselves with eloquence and behavior expectations; looking one another in the eye, holding the doors open for others, being prepared and timely for class and addressing peers and teachers politely. We envisioned the lasting relationships with classmates that a small school would bring. As time went on we witnessed students struggle with the examples of Christianity presented to them through the actions of their teachers, yet we still relied on our faith and trusted those with experience as we continued at The Oaks. Despite the intent and rhetoric from staff, administration, and the board to take concerns seriously, “The training up of young men and women is an endeavor that must be taken with an awareness that we are accountable to God for the positive and negative impact that we have on children, and the board does not take this responsibility lightly. (Matthew 18:1-6 & Luke 17:1-4)” (collective response May 2020 from the board), the stated mission of the school is compromised. We believe it is a disservice to remain quiet about the misguided use of power causing students to internalize stress due to the controlling atmosphere emphasizing dress codes and sin instead of godly leadership. In fact, families and students we asked for help and advice expressed concern regarding their own children’s mental health. We are heartbroken to learn that families have and are having the same experience.

             The purpose of this letter, as was the intention of the letter to the board, is to share our experience particularly in Logic and Rhetoric school in the following areas: 1) Love of learning, 2) Teachers and classroom management, 3) Relationships and 4) Parent-Centered Model.

            1) Love of learning:  Each school year offers 14,000 hours to learn how to love others, love work, and work diligently (Bruce Williams). The goal is to “light the fire” not to “fill the bucket.” (Seven Laws of Learning #7)  Yet teachers struggled to convey this message. The result of this message was translated to stressful demands on teachers, who in turn put more demands on students. Thus, excellence and perfection were confused. The Oaks handbook states that the intent of The Oaks is not to be “superfluous” but implementation of the school goals and curriculum goals became unnecessary busywork. Specifically, when teachers used instruction time to bring attention to conformity, a legalistic atmosphere was created which adversely impacted students’ love of learning. “Necessity may induce the student to learn the material; it will not induce him to love it.” (Student Parent Handbook pg. 15) A rigorous education has elements of stress but The Oaks fosters an environment of chronic stress extinguishing love for learning. Learning became no longer rigorous but religiousness. Homework, instead of reinforcing concepts learned in class, became works of salvation. Experiences with teachers questioning time management and attitudes made them reluctant to advocate for themselves. Shaming, signaling out students in front of others in order to reprimand, inviting teachers and administrators to condemn the personality or character of the student, praying out loud for the sins of specific students, checking clothing labels to ensure proper uniform compliance, throwing items at students, and threatening to throw away work that did not meet teachers expectations are a few of these behaviors we addressed with administrators. They are aware of patterns of verbal and non-verbal behaviors and contact between students and teachers that lead to emotional, social, cognitive and somatic consequences.

            Developmentally, students in the logic stage have a strong sense of justice and are overly sensitive and misinterpret adult behaviors. They watch their peers and measure decisions based on vicarious experiences. For example, they observe others that they find similar to their abilities succeed at something, gives them the sense that they can succeed at it. On a daily basis, Oaks students had concerned looks on their faces, were heard fretting and lamenting about schoolwork; modeling dread and trepidation about teachers, classes, and learning (unless under the watchful eye of a  teacher or administrator). Not one to misbehave, our eighth grade son laughed in class and was sent to the office. Devastated he explained he hadn’t done assignments correctly and began the day with his teacher sighing at his work while putting her head in her hands giving the distinct impression of disappointment. He was persuaded that his teachers were frustrated FOR him not AT him.

            In their desire to encourage students to live up to his academic potential (Student Parent Handbook pg. 15) an atmosphere of competition and judgment among students was created requiring parents to seek various types of treatments including nutritionists, counselors, and neurofeedback to address anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, eating disorders, self-harm, and emotional meltdowns. While there are aspects of personalities that can protect people from being vulnerable to stress, we believed that loving, attentive and engaged parents, along with active participation in church, would keep our boys resilient to the demands of their education. It was not enough.

            My sons were not the target of correction but suffered in silence, unsure of how to process what they observed. When an individual does not have the ability to cope with a perceived or imagined threat to one’s mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being, the result is stress. When the stress hormone is high, memory is impaired, and thinking is impeded. Thus, high emotional arousal debilitates performance, and students are most likely to expect failure when they associate feelings of vulnerability (butterflies, being tense or agitated) with stress.  

            2)  Teachers and classroom management:  Educators learn to balance, and how to balance, age and developmentally appropriate reinforcement. Effective classroom management strategies engage and inspire students to love learning. Yet few Oaks teachers, especially in the Logic and Rhetoric school, are trained in teaching and classroom management. Techniques such as stating the goal of the lesson, pacing, feedback awareness, repeating key points, incorporating a variety of learning styles in the lesson, building rapport, using a few minutes of class time to begin assignments are a few pragmatic suggestions that effectively engage students. These methods do not take away from a classical education. The Oaks orderly atmosphere is reliant on control instead of what the Student Parent Handbook refers to “strict, loving discipline” (pg. 15). Administration sees all misbehavior as sin and therefore teachers are taught to look for it (including behavior that doesn’t meet teachers’ expectations). The intent is to correct, but because there is no distinction between misbehavior and sin the result is misuse of discipline. But misbehavior is not necessarily sin nor does it need to be sermonized publicly. Student independence is impeded and anger (resentment) is provoked, especially when students feel they are held to a higher standard than the teacher. We witnessed plenty of grace with teachers but not with students.

            Good teaching motivates students and forges connections between what is known and what is new (Seven Laws of Learning #3). Adolescent development is the process of students learning to be adults. Large parts of class time were spent on addressing sin compromising the learning environment by taking time away from curriculum instruction. Consequently, students avoid taking risks and teachers are viewed adversely.  Ultimately students are taught to reiterate teachers’ beliefs to get approval and higher grades. “As Christian educators, this hypocrisy is a stumbling block in the path of students and the flow of information from teacher to student is seriously hindered” (Student Parent Handbook pg.14). So while your child will learn to work hard, possibly beyond their capacity, they will not learn how to study. Beyond learning the memory palace they won’t have the skills to apply information to life. I am astounded at the ineffective study skills after their years at The Oaks. Truly, homework times are more valuable than understanding concepts.  While a rigorous education may include elements of stress, we were told that stress was pride.

             3) Relationships: Personality, temperament and natural ability have a significant impact on who is successful at the Oaks.  Extroverted temperaments are preferred to introverted temperaments. Even though we initiated conversations with teachers and dutifully attended conferences into rhetoric school, advocating our sons’ strengths and weaknesses, the teachers acknowledged that they had not gotten to know our introverted son.  Even with a small class size your child has to make who they are known. 

            Oaks teachers reward conformity instead of holiness. Students are rewarded for being agreeable with teachers, having a happy countenance, being extraverted and conscientious to detail. Students learn to successfully put on airs of spiritual credence, earning favoritism with the teachers.  Our youngest, was admired for his willingness to take risks and fail. As he entered the logic stage we saw him become afraid of making choices because he wanted to please.  Our introverted son, an honor roll student, told us he did not want to be a Christian like those at The Oaks. When Jill shared concerns with an experienced teacher she was told that the boys were complainers and wanted to slap them.  

            The Oaks is proud to say they have “the aroma of fresh baked bread” but it grieves us that not one teacher acknowledged our sons were leaving the school in their last week of school. On the last day not one person from the administration, including the headmaster or teachers, said one word to our sons before they left. Remember, both boys started in kindergarten (you do the math). Later a teacher explained that teachers are not sure what the administration would approve of them saying. The environment is ripe, especially to unintentionally produce “clever devils” or to teach arrogant coping behaviors.  

            4) Parent-Centered Model:  We advocated for our children and consulted with teachers on how our children could advocate for themselves. We were aware of students being tutored during school hours, taking classes outside of their grade level, and dropping required classes. “We’re here to partner with you as parents, and even though your students are growing, they still need your involvement to make the most of their education”(Eighth-Twelfth Grade at a Glance). Yet administrators disregarded our rightful parental authority even though there had been precedent and it did not affect graduation requirements per the Student Handbook. Instead it was proposed that staff would act in our place as the spiritual mentor, communicating that administrators and teachers know best how to raise our children.

            Specific stories of meltdowns, loneliness, and bullying behaviors were shared with teachers, staff, administrators and board members. Still administrators reacted with surprise each time we communicated concerns about students going to bed after midnight, homework inaccuracies (students reporting less time on homework then they actually completed), somatic complaints, and students going to school sick because of the difficulty of making up work. We wrestled with the emphasis on rules and our sons’ hearts (Col 3:21). We had experienced students being afforded age appropriate freedoms in grammar school, so we encouraged our sons that they would be afforded more independence as they grew in discernment and entered Rhetoric school.   That was not the case. We were told it is normal and that that changes at 16 years-old. For us that change was the confidence to leave. We chose public school, despite being led to believe we were choosing “Satan”. For us the difference was immediate and positive. Being able to have a choice in classes and margin to explore hobbies was refreshing. Moreover, for the first time there were discussions about what they were learning. Our boys commented about how the teachers were interested in teaching them and not lecturing and calling them out about what they did wrong. They felt supported and felt their teachers cared about them and their progress. They had empathy for their teachers because they felt their teachers had empathy for them.

            While we did receive a collective response from the board, we did not hear from administrators. Furthermore, these questions from the letter still remain unanswered:

1.     1. Is the classroom a safe place for our children to question, explore, and strive to understand?
2.     How are educational decisions in the Logic and Rhetoric school being made? Is it being communicated to families? 
3.     Could the desire of The Oaks to be counter-cultural unintentionally cause students to seek unhealthy ways to cope with pressure and internalize a message of works over Grace? 
4.     Do you know what is happening behind the closed door classrooms?
5.     Do families tell you the truth about why they are leaving?

 “While the board is encouraged by the evidence of God’s grace that has been seen through recent strides that have been made by our Logic and Rhetoric administrator and staff, we acknowledge that we need to continue to pursue Christ-like love through humble repentance when we have been aware of our failures and shortcomings. As the administration of The Oaks continues to assess the quality of the education and overall culture within the school, your letter serves as a reminder to continue to keep short accounts  with one another, as we are encouraged to do in Matthew 18: 15-20. You reported that current Oaks families have expressed concerns to you, and the board requests that you encourage these members of our community to express their concerns with the teachers and administration”(May 2011). 

Please take them up on this.

 

Jill and Joel Wright

irongirljw@comcast.net