#013 Annaliese Cheeley [Class of 2017]

 A reflection on my time at The Oaks:

 
As an Oaks student who was never the poster-child, and who came from a family known for causing trouble at the school (because we had opinions and could see through the bullsh*t), I still didn’t fit any mold this school offered — those spots were already taken by my older siblings or "perfect" classmates. I faded into the background for the most part. I graduated high school in 2017 not from The Oaks.
 
I am the 6th child of 7 in a family where two of my brothers ended up expelled from The Oaks and our family had a reputation that I didn’t quite fit into. My family came to this school with a lot of hope. My parents ingrained in us the value of good education my entire life, and thus I left the Oaks because I knew I was not getting the best, nor close to it. If you have any ounce of creativity in you, that school will not help you foster that. My right-brained personality needed more out of my education in order to develop my natural strengths and creative spirit.  I couldn’t take art classes at The Oaks. The Oaks gave me no real skill set for a specific job down the road. I needed an institution that was going to give me a variety of class options and different teachers than the same 10 I have had my whole life. 
 
 
The Oaks brought me years and years of heartbreak. I was the one of few girls who never got invited to sleepovers or birthday parties and would find out after the fact. I saw my peers being praised for their grades so I tried to score higher and study harder but I’ve never been a good studier. I was constantly left out of everything. No one wanted to be my friend to the point where my 5th grade teacher had to ask the girls in my class to be my friend because she saw me always sitting alone or being left out. The exclusivity continued so drastically and since my mom wasn’t involved like other moms I got lost in the dust once again.
 
I failed science in fifth grade after repeatedly getting attention grabbers to the point where my dad would be on the phone with Charlie Dowers (who was teaching 5th grade science… and my dad can attest that the material we were learning was some 12th grade physics) arguing about my homework assignments late into the night multiple times a week and me being in tears trying to figure out what the hell buoyancy is and how it works. Still don’t quite get that one. 
 
I was terrified of failure so much that I forged my parents’ signatures on things so that I wouldn’t get in trouble (still got in trouble because as it turns out no 3rd grader’s handwriting looks like their parents’). 
 
I was sent to the principal’s office multiple times every year through 4th grade. I think I got spanked at least once every year. This looked like me being taken into the principal’s private office and putting my hands on the desk while one of the office ladies watched Mr. Williams or Mr. Dowers spank me and tell me why they were doing it. Sometimes I would get spanked more than once at a time. I was often spanked at home when I did things wrong, so this concept wasn’t foreign to me. Men in authority hurting me to get their point across was taught to be normal and expected – and the message I heard was that this treatment is what I should expect from those who are supposed to protect and guide me. Makes sense, right? Yeah, I thought so, too. 
 
In High School, according to uniform policy, I legitimately knelt on the ground and had my skirt length measured, and it’s worth noting I am about 5’ 8”. On multiple occasions I was pulled out of the hallway and talked to about my skirt length. A skirt on one girl looks completely different on me simply because my legs are so long. I wore my short skirt just to push the boundaries on the last day I was ever going to be at that school & I got a uniform citation. My shoes were always too bright in color. My socks were never the right color. And I still don’t understand the rule about girls only allowed to wear khaki pants for a select few months?? Make that one make sense. 
 
I never learned how to type. I never learned healthy or safe sex education. I was learning “Bible Context” instead of relevant history classes. I cheated on so many things in elementary school (including an open book test) because the classroom setting was unhealthily competitive and solely performance based and I just couldn’t keep up although I was above average in my class.
 
I think Latin was helpful when I learned Spanish (at another school). It was dumb to know the language that in depth, but it builds connections to other languages. Spanish is much more useful though. But Mr. Indgjerd made the Oaks a much better place for me — the highlight of my career there.
 
My self-esteem issues came from this place in that the pretty and fit girls (theatre department) got everything I wanted, and yet I was never enough. Or even if I was, no one cared to let me know!
 
In kindergarten, I got my name on the board for calling a classmate annoying. In 9th grade, I got my name one the board for saying the word “excrement” in algebra 2. He called my parents about that one. I failed 7th grade science. I still have such a terrible grasp on science and I hate it. Also, Pangea is real. Teach Evolution.
 
The teachers played favorites so hard that I felt my grade depended on whether or not said teacher liked me. Other people were clearly liked better so I felt like I didn’t matter. I never felt accepted at The Oaks. I was a fake version of myself for the whole time I was at that school because no one tried to make sure I was okay. All I ever wanted was to be impressive, but there were always better students and everyone knew who they were because grades were so public.
 
I transferred from the Oaks after being there K-9th grade and watching four of my older siblings graduate from there.  I couldn’t see myself continuing in that school. That same time I left, 10 of my other classmates left the school (out of 17 total). We saw the poor curriculum and changing authority figures and had to find something new — something better. 
 
Leaving The Oaks was the best decision I have made in my life, to date. Since leaving, I met people who have changed my life for the better and made lifelong friends who love and care for me like no other. I still cherish my few friends I grew up with at The Oaks (Taylor, Abby & Kjersti), the ones that blossomed into mature friendships and some of whom also left when I did. I got to experience 3 years of a more normal high school and the knowledge I refer back to in my college classes came from my new high school. At the high school I graduated from I can genuinely say that my teachers cared about me. They took time out of their days to make sure I was doing alright and I was able to form personal connections with all of my teachers and I knew that even if I got a bad grade they would still want to help me understand what I did wrong and that it wasn’t the end of the world!
 
Being able to take art classes after I left the Oaks opened up a side of my brain that had been suppressed for too long. I found my dream career path in Interior Design at Baylor University and am about to go off into real adulthood (if this pandemic ever ends…). I felt prepared for college leaving CdA Charter Academy. Not that college is everything — it’s not. But I have loved my time at Baylor (21’), and I have pursued my Interior Design degree with all my heart and soul. 
 
 
All My Love,
Annaliese Cheeley
 
P.S. 
 
You are worth more than a grade on a paper. In fact, they don’t really matter at all. Enjoy your life, love fiercely, explore your passions, find what drives you, and don’t let anyone tell you that you are lesser because you don’t look like or perform like they think you should.