I am not sure of the merit of posting an anonymous letter in which you are unwilling to stand behind any claims you may make of someone or something. I believe you should be willing to discuss or debate your beliefs. So with that said, my name is Tal Williams and I began my time at The Oaks as a kindergartner in the first year of the school all the way until my graduation in 2009. My guess is my comments and opinions most likely won’t land with many people, given my close connection to the school, and that is perfectly fine. Please know I would honestly love and even encourage a dialogue with anyone about their time at the Oaks and the current perceptions about it. You can email me at talwilliams55@gmail.com or text me at 509-951-2196, and if you find yourself in Spokane, let me know and I would be happy to buy you coffee and have a civil discussion.
While I don’t want to make a blanket assumption
of what I believe most of these letters will contain, in conversations with
other graduates I have heard things like how the school lacks a STEM program or
how there was a patriarchal or misogynistic vibe of the staff. I want to
encourage any alumni that have animosity towards the school or feel as if they
were wronged in some way to remember what Matthew 18 says about confronting
sin. Talk to the leadership at school or the individual that you believe wronged
you but do that between you and that individual. Do not make those claims
public first.
With that being said here are some thoughts I wanted to share as an alum.
To past, current and future students of The
Oaks, I want to encourage you in a couple areas. First and most importantly, pray
that God would help you in creating a strong habit of being in the Word daily
and memorizing Scripture. In today’s world you will encounter
those who appear to be proclaiming truths about God but they stand on faulty
ground. For example, many Christians find themselves merely virtue signaling by
publicly expressing their opinion or sentiments intending to demonstrate their good character or correctness
on a particular issue in order to win the approval of their peer group. When
instead, as Christians, if we are steeped in God’s Word we would know passages
such as Matthew 6:1 or 6:16-18 that warn us about flaunting “virtue” in order
to fit in with the woke culture.
Second, understand the sacrifice that your teachers
make to be at The Oaks. Each staff member is there because they believe in the
education that is being offered at The Oaks. They are not there in any way
because of the financial gains they receive in being teachers, trust me it is
limited. Stop and think how many teachers and staff that are still there years
after their children have left The Oaks or those that never even had children
at The Oaks. The main reason they are there is to have a positive impact in
your life. So I encourage you, next time you see a teacher, tell them how much
you appreciate the sacrifices they make for you.
And finally, understand the sacrifice your
parents are making for you to be at The Oaks. It is a significant financial
commitment to send even just one child to The Oaks, let alone many. Be sure to
thank your parents for how they are providing for you and show your
appreciation by applying yourself to your studies and taking advantage of the superior
education they are providing for you.
I also wanted to share some comments for any
parents that may read this. In talking with some alums about why we believe
other alums have walked away from the Lord, we feel as if the common thread is
parents that were not faithful in Biblical parenting. There seemed to be a
misunderstanding that by just sending your kids to a Christian school you could
abdicate your responsibilities at home. After all, eight hours a day they are
around godly adults, shouldn’t that be enough? Shouldn’t the
discipline my children require be fulfilled while they are at school? While I
know discipline was taking place at The Oaks, and yes, there are godly staff at
school that love your children, it is in no way a substitute for your
responsibilities as parents. Fathers, it starts with you being faithful in your
walk with the Lord. Put your faith in Christ alone. Be in the Word, pray,
attend church, discipline your children, love your wife and do ALL these things
consistently and faithfully believing in the promises God laid out in
Scripture.
I wanted to end by just expressing my
appreciation to a couple people. First and foremost my parents, Bruce and
Susan. Thank you for the sacrifices you made 26 years ago by quitting your
secure jobs and leaping into something you knew very little about but felt like
it was what your children needed and God was calling you to do. Thank you for
having complete trust in God that He would provide for us. Being little at that
time, it was not something I understood or even really appreciated, but as I
have grown, I am thankful for the sacrifices you have made and how it has had a
positive impact on multiple generations. What a blessing to know that my
children will reap the benefits of your faithfulness 26 years ago. I love you
both so much.
To all the teachers I had in my 13 years at The
Oaks, thank you! Thank you for investing in my life even when I made it very
difficult. Thank you for continuing to care and encourage me even after my
graduation from The Oaks. Specifically I want to thank Ben Palpant. Thank you
for pushing me beyond my comfort levels in all areas of my life. You and
Kristin provide a wonderful example of what godly parenting looks like and I am
thankful that to this day you are part of Cristina and our kid’s lives.
Charlie Dowers and current staff, thank you for
continuing the legacy of The Oaks. I pray that God would pour blessings upon
the school, that you all would be faithful in honoring Him and that The Oaks
will continue to produce oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the
display of his splendor (Isaiah 61:3).
Hi Tal, Rebs here. I'm sure you sent your letter without seeing the others first, as everyone has made themselves known so far, rather than posting anonymously. I hear what you are saying about Matthew 18, yet I think this is an important forum for people to air personal issues that they've dealt with in their lives and the role The Oaks has played in that. It can be difficult to confront any one individual on this, because I believe the issues are complex and that the problems don't lie with any specific individual.
ReplyDeleteI noted in your letter you mentioned the complaints regarding STEM weaknesses and patriarchy/misogyny being experienced by some students, but skated across those issues with Matthew 18. While your words about the sacrifices made by parents and teachers to support the school have merit, I'd be interested in your response to these issues that have been brought up, which I believe also have merit.
Respectfully,
RC
Hi Rebecca - thanks for the question, probably won’t go into the detail you are hoping for but will give a couple thoughts.
Delete1. You are correct, this was written prior to any of these being posted so I am happy to see to this point everyone has stated who they are.
2. With regards to Matthew 18 and what I said. My comments would be directed to those that have a personal or specific issue with someone and encouraging them to talk through that issue with them prior to posting your grievances on a public form. I could have made that more clear. For example, an issue you may have with Ben Palpant, I would encourage you to reach out to Ben if you truly believe you have been wronged in some way. I agree some issues are more complex and would be difficult to follow the steps laid out in Matthew 18. I am not convinced though this is the correct forum or right way to go about airing your personal grievances with the school. There are more productive ways to accomplish change and I am sure if anyone of these people that have posted reached out to the school to discuss issues or concerns they have someone would be happy to talk to them (just my assumption, I have not talked to any of the staff about that though).
3. With regards to the issues that have been brought up and my thoughts on their merit.....well I have very few thoughts about their merit but that is a MUCH longer conversation I would be happy to have next time you are in town face to face. Fundamentally I think I am coming at the issues proposed from a drastically different worldview than those expressing the concerns. So obviously I see them differently. Is the Oaks perfect? By no means. Are the teachers flawed and sinful individuals? Most definitely. That is the result of the fall. However, I will stand by what I said, this needs to be dealt with in a biblical way.
Hope you are doing well, God Bless!
Thanks Tal, I appreciate your reply. I think there are certainly two sides to this, which I examined further in my own piece, which should be posted soon. It's good to hear from you and I think it's important that multiple perspectives are offered here!
DeleteHi Tal,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your encouraging letter. As a current parent at the Oaks, I’ve had nothing but positive experiences. Every teacher my kids have had thus far, have been caring and amazing. My oldest boy (2nd child out of 4) had some adjustments needed back when he was in K, and it was not always fun. But the staff was always encouraging, communicative, and partnering with myself and my husband. He ended up receiving “most improved” award that year. We are so proud of the young boy he is since coming to the oaks.
My little brother is in 9th grade this year. He came from a gifted program through district 81. He was ridiculed and harassed by one of his teachers there due to his Christian faith, and bringing a Bible to school. He lacked confidence and didn’t look people in the eyes while talking to them, even had to speak through my mom sometimes while talking to family. Since the Oaks, in the past year, he is now a confident, proper, thriving, young man. He’s gifted both in arts and academics. We knew the first transition year would be difficult, as they start Latin in third grade and he was going into 8th... by the end of the year, the school suggested he could go into advanced Latin, as well as math. You are correct. The people that consist of this Oaks community, parents, staff, and students. We are all sinners and fall short of God. But as a public school graduate, a first generation immigrant, someone who grew up Buddhist and now a reborn Christian, I’m so so thankful and blessed to be able to send our kids here. So thank you for sharing.